Dear Santa: We’ve Been Nice. Signed, The Dogs of Charm City
Word on the street is that Santa’s cutoff date for deciding who’s naughty and who’s nice was last week. Fortunately, nearly all of Baltimore’s dogs made the nice list this year despite a lengthy list of minor slip ups. Thank goodness for redeeming nice-list behaviors (and adorably guilty faces). Dogs are born troublemakers — but every dog owner knows that there's no such thing as a dog on the Naughty List, no matter how bad they may have been.
We asked dogs around the DMV to share their naughty and nice highlights from the year. Here were some of our favorites:
Acts of Destruction
I Made the couch explode
Chewed up dad’s winning scratch off
Ate and shredded an entire box of leftover puppy pads
While our parents were at work, we pulled their potted plants from the window sill, ate the flowers and then peed all over the dirt so that it got stuck on the floor.
Ate/shredded most of mom’s mail
Chewed through the laundry basket to steal all the dirty socks and undies
I broke my mom’s ankle
Pee, Poo and Shart Accidents
I peed on my mom’s head while she was sleeping. Reason? Still TBD.
Goin tinklys on the couch (my nickname is Sprinkles).
I peed on mom and dad’s duvet
I may have went potty in an elevator
Sharted on mom and dad’s bed
Peed all over Mimi’s furniture every time I came to visit
Peed on my grandpa while he was sleeping
Pee on momma’s prized couch
Pooped on the rug and then got the zoomies and ran through it
I peed on my pawrents bed twice in one week
Rolled in fox poo 4 times in one weekend, making the hooman give me 4 baths in 3 days
Mom & dad were out and checked on the furbo camera only to find me doing a number 2 right on the sofa 😇
I roll in poop every chance I get
Chasing After Things (squirrels, people, bikes, electric scooters)
I ran after my sister (cashew cat) one too many times…and maybe tried to eat her…
Tried to steal a blind man’s cane right out of his hand! Mom was so embarrassed
I took up a personal vendetta against every scooter and bike in the city and made sure to bark every time I saw one, making walks stressful for mommy and commuters alike
Poor Food Choices
Ate all of mama scrunchies n headbands n puken em on Grandma hardwood floors
Ate a whole plate of blueberry muffins that were cooling on the stove while my hoomans were outside
I tried to eat all the cookie dough when mom was making xmas cookies
I snuck a chunk of poo when mom wasn’t looking and then yacked it up in the back of her car!
I trick mom’s roommate into giving me a second dinner
Ate a stick of butter that my pawrent left out, it was delicious
Eated everyboy’s shoelaces
I tore out all the fluff inside my bed and ate FOUR pairs of mom’s shoes
Tried to snack on a decaying rat outside in the courtyard. Mom had to use jaws of life to pry it from my chops as guts spewed out and bones crunched
I ate mommy’s expensive sandals and chewed up the banister
Hitting my pawrents with my paws to wake them up when I'm hungry
I am the goodest gurl except when mom & dad leave empty Starbucks cups on the table. I LOVE PAPER CUPS. Fav thing 2 shred. My beard was orange for 3 days after I found an empty PSL cup. #basic
Learned how to jump onto the coffee table to steal my mom and dads food
My favorite thing to do is drink out of the toilet
I eat my treats REALLY fast so I can take my brother’s treats OUT OF HIS MOUTH and eat them myself.
Brought a dead bird into mahm’s house
Protected my home from every leaf that blew by
Woofed at every man who dare lay eyes on mama
Protected my mom from a giant mean yellow threat on the sidewalk (recycling bin)
Brought Joy to Hoomans
Gave my human a best friend
Comfort mom during the times she was upset, and snuggle her to bed every night
Snuggled up next to mom in the bed during the middle of the night. While I did wake mom up because her arm was tingling from the weight of my head, she said it was worth it.
Gave mams + dad unlimited supply of kisses, cuddles and love
Spread love to all, one Mer hug at a time
Make mom and dad feel better after losing my brother Jack
Give Olive a sibling again and helped heal mom and dad’s heart after losing Jack.
Snuggled mommy when she was sad
Be gentle to every mini hooman I met
Celebration of Special Milestones with our Hoomans
Sat through many hours of lectures with mom and brought her smiles as she finished grad school
Helped my dad propose to my mom
We were the perfect model dogs for our parents engagement shoot
Acts of kindness
Donated food, treats, and toys to BARCS Animal Shelter.
Snuggled up with my foster siblings. I’m not much of a snuggler but I could tell they needed it <3
Played with all furrends no matter size, shape, or color
I reviewed food out of the kindness of my own heart
Shared my house, bones, toys, and hoomans with my foster sister and taught her how to be a good doggo so she would be all ready for her new
I Became a big brother and learned patience when dealing with a puppy
I graduated from puppy basics! I’ve learned to walk better on a leash, listen to commands and I'm finally not peeing in their house or mom’s hair
Made friends with my neighborhood doggos and learned how to walk on a leash better